Complexes are something that everyone has experienced at different times in their life, whether it be at home, in a professional setting, or in a social setting. They arise when we feel someone is better than us, has something we don’t have, or does something we cannot imagine doing. Comparisons to others can also trigger complexes and being insecure, which can be due to various reasons but typically result in either an inferiority complex or a superiority complex. Both are extreme situations that don’t work for anyone.
An inferiority complex comes from a feeling of being “less than,” while a superiority complex comes from a place of “ego.” The root cause of both these complexes stems from being insecure. When we don’t feel secure within ourselves in our abilities and capabilities, it leads to feeling under confident or overconfident, which can result in either complex. It’s normal and human to feel under or overconfident at various times in our lives, but they turn into complexes when they are felt for a consistently prolonged amount of time.
When we don’t understand or stop being insecure, we can end up feeling complex. These complex feelings can make us feel disconnected and misaligned with ourselves, which can result in going into one’s own shell or becoming someone who needs a huge amount of external validation. In either case, one is becoming someone they may not be. Initially, it may not matter, but over time, one starts feeling the disconnect to a very large extent, which may lead to moving further away from the self.
Whichever stage we are at, while feeling complex, gaining a perspective from a trusted source and working through this is imperative. It’s important to understand the root cause of the feeling and what has triggered it so that changes can be made if this particular behavior is not serving the individual. Focusing on the self rather than using one’s energy in others should be practiced.
Self-acceptance is a crucial missing piece in this puzzle, but where can one start on this journey of being secure? There are many ways to learn this art as it is not something that may come naturally to human beings but is a practice we need to work towards. Start by writing a list of your strengths as most people are not even aware of what they have within them as they have not stopped to look within. Next, identify the things you can control and the things you cannot control and focus on those things you can control. Learn to celebrate your wins in a way that honors yourself, this helps in understanding how to stop being insecure.
A simple exercise that can be tried so that we can start understanding more about ourselves.
A simple exercise to help us understand ourselves better is to maintain a Grateful Jar. Here are the steps to on how to stop being insecure:
- Every day, for 21 days, write down one quality about yourself that you like on a small piece of paper and add it to the jar.
- Every day, for 21 days, write down one reason why you are grateful on a small piece of paper and add it to the jar.
- After completing the exercise, you will be able to see yourself in a new light, free from comparisons.
- Finally, every day, extend your appreciation to someone else.
This exercise will help you see yourself in a new, authentic light and cultivate a positive relationship with yourself based on your own potential and inner confidence, rather than insecurities. It will guide you to be kind to yourself, focus on abundance, and lead a life free from feelings of complexity. Take up this challenge to stop being insecure and enjoy the benefits it brings!
In conclusion, I would like to share a quote from someone whom I’ve always admired: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better” – Maya Angelou.
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